If you’re in need of a laugh, then part one of the chicken distraction in Wrath & Desire might be for you. As everyone who has read the first book in the series knows, many things are not what they seem in the Realm of Zadrya, and chickens are no exception. Hope you enjoy!
Interest lit in his gaze. “So we’ll also be doing a little spying during this trip.”
“Exactly.” I nodded. “Right now, we have no clue what is happening there, but with our abilities, we could find out without getting caught.”
Jax held a hand up. “Wait. Don’t they guard the portal ring at Tradain?”
“That part is a little tricky,” I admitted and took a deep breath. “We can’t avoid the fact that it will open so they can see it, and it’s hard to hide the sound of footsteps there. Chief Orran said we can take a chicken to toss through first. It will make noise and distract them.”
“The Prime Chief told you to throw one of his chickens through a portal as a diversion?” he asked incredulously.
I shrugged. “I might have suggested it, but after Orran stopped laughing long enough to talk, he agreed to provide one. Let the guards wonder for years how a chicken opened a portal.”
The leader of the Andalagar was still chuckling when I left him fifteen minutes ago, but no need to mention that part. Jax had to believe this was a solid strategy because my plan wouldn’t work without his invisibility magic. A chicken was a perfectly logical choice.
“This is insane,” he said, shaking his head.
I gave him an earnest look. “Please.”
“Fine.” He let out a martyred sigh. “I have nothing better to do right now than infiltrate enemy territory with nothing more than a chicken.”
Somehow, I managed to avoid squealing in victory. Jax might be one of my husband’s closest friends, but we had only learned to tolerate each other so far.
“I’d hug you, but that would be awkward, so I’ll just say thanks.”
“Yeah. Let’s stick with that,” he agreed.
We left the village and headed straight for the ring. To my surprise, Chief Orran was already waiting for us, along with another Andalagar tribal member who held a squawking chicken with a mixture of purple and green feathers. What odd colors, and why was the bird making the most annoying noises I’d ever heard? It didn’t cluck like a normal one.
Squeak! Squawk! Squook!
“Everyone in Doga will thank you for taking this thing away,” the man said with a scowl, thrusting the squirming bird toward me. “It’s young, or we might have killed and eaten it already to give us some peace.”
That must have been the random squawking I’d heard more than a few times since arriving here. I hadn’t realized it came from one particular chicken. Thankfully, the coops were nowhere near my cabin, but closer to the training field.
“Thanks,” I said, barely managing to keep a grip on the slippery little thing and finally settling for holding her legs. “She’ll go to a good home.”
“I don’t care what you do with that creature. Just get that hen far from here.”
Squeak! Squawk! Squook!
“Is it normal for your chickens to sound like that? And why is she so oily?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No, our normal ones don’t make those noises, and we have no idea why her feathers are so slick. No amount of baths has helped, so we gave up.”
The Prime Chief, who’d stood there with a tense expression until now, chuckled. “I once said I wouldn’t wish that bird on my worst enemy, but I suppose this is for a good cause. Try to find out as much as you can while you’re there, Aella.”
“Of course.” I handed the chicken to a reluctant Jax, who nearly dropped her before taking her legs as I had while keeping her upright. “I’ll get the portal open. If we’re not back in three hours, you know something went wrong.”
We didn’t need that much time for Tradain, but if all went well, I planned to go to Ivory Castle afterward to check on my garden. Orran knew about that, too, but I wouldn’t tell Jax until I was sure we’d be able to make the side trip. It was hard enough convincing him to visit one place. Once we were gone, he’d have no choice except to stay with me.
I grabbed the pouch I’d filled with holmium powder, filled the right amount into my hand, and began chanting. Moments later, the portal opened. Jax wasted no time tossing the chicken into the blue glow. We breathed a sigh of relief when the squawking stopped with the bird’s exit.
“Thanks again,” I said to Orran before taking Jax’s hand. We became invisible, and I admired the fact that I couldn’t see my fingers wiggling in front of my face. It was my first time.
We rushed together through the portal, with it only taking a few seconds to reach our destination. The ring at Tradain was located outside the town as a safety precaution in case of invasion. No one could even see it from there.
As a result, only two elf guards were panicking and screaming as they dashed around chasing the crazy chicken. One would nearly catch it, but the bird would always slip through their fingers. We maneuvered to the side to avoid the chaos as it pecked at one of their faces.
“What is wrong with this thing?” one of them cried.
“Ahh!” The other guard spat feathers out of his mouth. “I don’t know, but it tastes awful.”
Squeak! Squawk! Squook!
“Is it possessed?” the first asked as the bird danced around him, bobbing its head side to side. He was going to get dizzy trying to follow it.
The other guard glanced at the portal where Jax and I were edging away from it. “I don’t know, but this thing’s caretaker better come get it.”
They tried kicking the creature, but the chicken deftly dodged their boots and let out an even louder and more annoying sound. Skreeeek!
“Shoo,” they both yelled.
I closed the portal behind us and restrained myself from giggling as the two elves panicked, realizing nothing was following the bird, and it was entirely their responsibility now.
We made it about twenty feet when the purple and green chicken dashed toward us, flapping its wings. Could it actually see us? Jax was closer, so he leaned down and nudged her towards the nearby woods, pulling on my arm as he did it. We’d need our feathery distraction again later, so it was best if she wandered off for a while. The guards wouldn’t follow her far since they couldn’t leave their post.
As the bird headed in the direction we guided it, the elves panted from exhaustion.
“Do you think it really opened the portal by itself?” one asked.
The other guard gave him a dirty look. “Don’t be ridiculous. Someone wanted to get rid of that thing and thought it would be funny to send it to us. If the nameless ones have any mercy, it will find its way back home and bother them again.”
We continued on our trek, waiting until we were out of hearing range to release our laughter. It had nearly killed me to hold it inside. I developed a new respect for Jax, who managed to keep us invisible through it all, and I told him as much.
“That has to be the most challenging job I’ve ever done, and it’s only the beginning,” he said in exasperation.
I wished I could see his face, but I could feel the tremble in his hand as he tried to contain his laughter. “Let’s hurry.”
Of course, there will be more chicken appearances in the novel itself, as well as what else it can do.
