DOGE- Supernatural Division (episode 2)

I received a lot of positive responses here and on social media to the first DOGE story, so I decided I’d continue as long as interest remains. The plan is to try posting every Friday. At least for the moment, the installments will be stand-alone episodes to allow new readers to jump in at any point, but over time, they will likely begin to connect. Keep in mind these are meant to be fun, satirical stories that attempt to lighten the mood of the current political climate by adding some supernatural twists and exaggerations.

For anyone who missed the first episode, you can find it HERE. The newest one is below. Hope you enjoy and have a great weekend!


DOGE Supernatural Division (episode 2)

The young apprentice frowned as he scrolled down the screen, checking for suspicious expenditures.  Did werewolves really need fancy grooming brushes?  And why did they spend so much on sweatpants and T-shirts?  The Capital Protection Pack had eighty-five members, so what were they doing with over two thousand sets of them purchased in the last six months?

Axe narrowed his eyes on the tough, blonde woman sitting beside him and pointed at the screen.  “Explain these numbers to me.”

He couldn’t show a scrap of weakness in this place, or he might get eaten.

“Really?”  The alpha’s golden eyes flashed menacingly.  “We aren’t allowed to patrol the D.C. streets in wolf form, so we can’t change until we see trouble.  Then there is no time to remove our clothes before we shift, meaning they get ripped to shreds.”

That point wasn’t going to work on Axe.  “Okay, but I still don’t see the connection to all these clothes you expect the government to fund.  You’re already given an allowance to purchase your own for work.”

He’d never seen them wear sweats.  It was usually black cargo pants or slacks, though t-shirts or Polos were typical.  They wore nothing too formal since they weren’t meant to stand out too much.

“Once the threat has been eliminated, we must change back to communicate with authorities, but we’re naked.”  She pointed at his computer screen.  “All those clothes are cached around the city for easy access and must be replaced as necessary.  We use sweatpants and t-shirts because they can fit a wider variety of body types, depending on who needs them.”

Axe couldn’t argue that point, but there were still holes in her story.  “If there are hundreds of caches, how does your pack know where to find them all?”

“We put pouches with rosemary and lemon balm near the clothes.”

He wrinkled his nose.  “And you just sniff them out?”

“Yes.” She tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder.  “We can smell one of those pouches a half mile away as long as they’re replaced every few weeks.”

Well, that explained why their expenditures included thousands of dollars worth of herb purchases.  He’d thought for sure he’d get them on that oddity.  Axe still had so much to learn, but High Wizard Elron insisted he maintain a supreme air of confidence no matter what the situation.  Since his boss was standing at the back of the room with his arms crossed, watching his team, he couldn’t let him down.  DOGE- Supernatural Division had to do whatever it took to prove their worth and cut wasteful spending.

Sighing, Axe returned to scrolling down the screen.

One issue stood out more than any other.  “Your wolfpack’s food expenses are exorbitant.  I’m surprised no one has called you out for this before because seventy-five thousand dollars a month for meals while on duty is far beyond anything I’ve seen with other supernatural groups your size.”

She didn’t need to know he’d only been on the job for a week, as that would muddle the point, but it was unusual.

“Are you just a complete idiot?” she asked, letting out a low growl.

Axe froze in his chair.  The alpha werewolf looked like she was ready to consume him for dinner.  He’d been bitten by a dog once when he was a kid and never wanted to repeat the experience.  With the Alpha’s teeth bared at him, he could have sworn they were bigger and sharper than a few minutes ago.

“Now, now, now.”  High Wizard Elron headed toward them, wagging a finger.  “We don’t eat DOGE agents.”

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DOGE- Supernatural Division (a fun satire story)

I’ve been a little stressed by the news lately, so last night my husband cautioned me to avoid discussing politics online. Bwahaha! In light of that suggestion, I decided to write something that had been on my mind since it was first announced. How could I resist poking a little fun with a title like Department of Government Efficiency? Of course, I had to add some supernatural twists to put some space between the fictional story and the real world. Names and locations may have been altered as well.

No idea how this will go over, but if you all enjoy it, let me know. I’ll write more episodes in the future and post them here on my website for free. This is honestly just a stress relief for me.


DOGE Supernatural Division (episode 1)

“Department of Government Efficiency, Supernatural Division, who is calling, please?” Ruby asked, leaning back in her comfortable ergonomic chair.

A hushed male voice came over the line, “I have an anonymous tip.”

She leaned forward and began typing on the computer, starting a trace for the call. “Of course. Your privacy is especially important to us. Go ahead.”

“I discovered some discrepancies in the blood storage database where I work.”  The caller’s voice dropped lower. “I think they’re taking allotments somewhere but claiming it was expired and destroyed.  There’s been some questionable labeling lately.”

Ruby tapped her manicured nails on the desk, waiting for the computer program to finish locating the caller. “Why do you believe it wasn’t destroyed?”

“The night team was supposed to handle it, but they checked out two vans at ten pm and left together, according to outside camera footage. They didn’t return until an hour before dawn.  When I arrived for the morning shift, all four cases of blood bags were gone, and the furnace was cold.  No way they destroyed them.”

The program finished, revealing the caller was at a gas station in San Antonio. Ruby frowned. That city was one of the hubs for distributing vampire blood in Texas. The law was very clear that every ounce of it had to be accounted for and dispersed equally among vampires. Well, mostly equal, the older and richer ones “claimed” they needed more to subsist, but she had her doubts.

“Can I get the address to the warehouse?” she asked, though she already suspected the answer, it would help for him to confirm it.

“It’s in Dallas,” he said, rattling off the rest of the details.

Ruby inwardly cursed.  She’d really hoped it was San Antonio, but this paranoid caller had gone out of his way to not be caught.  No matter.  They’d pull the gas station security cameras since they’d need this man as a witness whether he liked it or not.  Good thing there was a specific elixir to provoke full cooperation.

“Very well.”  She opened a new window on her computer and began typing. “The Department of Government Efficiency, Supernatural Division, appreciates your assistance on this matter. Remember to pay your taxes and have a wonderful evening.”

Then she braced herself for her next call to Wizard Elron in Dallas. Ruby sure hoped he didn’t bring up her lack of children again or her three cats.  Why he thought it was his business, she didn’t know.  He hadn’t said anything since she gifted him a hundred cans of kitty food last Christmas, though.

***

Three hours later…

High Wizard Elron strutted toward the building with his three young lackeys in lockstep behind him. His black silk cape billowed at his back, and as he came to a stop, he set his hands on his hips as he studied the large structure.  He was ready to knock some heads together after learning of the audacity of this distribution warehouse for trying to skim blood for anything other than legal purposes.  He’d get to the bottom of the matter.

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Random author updates for January…

I hope those of you who have gotten a chance to read Cast by Flames enjoyed it. Though it ties up most loose ends for the series, obviously certain elements related to Galadon and Rayna couldn’t be completed in that installment.

Back in November/early December while I was waiting on edits to come back for book 7, I reached chapter ten for Galadon. I’m pleased to say that after quite a few late nights this past week, I’ve gotten to the halfway point for the draft. Some of it has been written during the day as well, but my two little boys interrupt me a lot. Christmas break is almost over for my 7-year-old, which will cut down on the chaos at home with only the 3-year-old creating distractions.

I don’t want to say too much right now since I know some people haven’t finished Cast by Flames yet, but you will find out why Galadon’s mother left him on that specific plot of land in his installment and it’s no small reason. Later in January when more of you have had a chance to catch up, I’ll post the first chapter of his book to give you a sneak peek at what’s to come.

In other news, I’m still waiting to hear when Cast by Flames will be released in audio. I’m guessing at least 2-3 months to allow time for recording, editing, etc. I’m also going to work on getting the last three novels into paperback soon. Some of you have asked about that, and I do want to get it done because I’d love to see those covers on physical books. It’s a matter of setting aside the time for it.

If you have any questions/comments, feel free to leave a comment below!

Cast by Flames is now in Kindle Unlimited

First of all, I hope everyone has a Happy New Year! This is just a brief post to let you all know that Cast by Flames is now available in Kindle Unlimited, so if you’ve been waiting, you can finally borrow your copy. Thanks to everyone who has picked up the book already. It means so much to me that you all have stuck with me for this journey.

As for Galadon, I am making great progress with his book. I actually started writing it in November while Cast by Flames was with the editor and just finished chapter eleven yesterday. It will follow Galadon and Rayna’s journey after events from Cast by Flames, and you’ll see many of the other characters from the series. I didn’t do an epilogue for book seven because that would have cut into the story in Galadon, but there will be one for book eight that leaps forward years later to let you know how many of your favorite characters are doing. Stay tuned for progress on that, but my goal is to release it by late April!

Cast by Flames release day!

I am excited to let everyone know that Cast by Flames is now available in ebook format. For the next three days, you can grab it on any of the major retailers. I will pull it from everywhere except Amazon after that to enroll it into Kindle Unlimited. When it’s in KU, I’ll post again to let everyone know who is waiting to borrow it. I’ll also update you all when the audiobook is available.

Below are the details on Cast by Flames and the retailer links. I hope you enjoy this final installment featuring Bailey and Aidan!

Malicious forces are coming for Bailey, Aidan, and everyone they know.  The Kandoran are cunning and ruthless when conquering land and all the beings who live in it.  They infect everyone they touch with evil magic, assimilating them for their own dark purposes.

With a massive army coming they cannot hope to match, the best Bailey and Aidan can do is court as many allies as possible to form an unlikely coalition of pure dragons, shifters, sorcerers, slayers, and humans bound together with the single purpose of preserving their way of life.  They will have to form strategies and fight back in both modern and magical ways their adversary could never anticipate.  Even then, the odds are against them, but with everything they love on the line, they’ll do whatever it takes to survive.

AMAZON US AMAZON UK

AMAZON CA AMAZON AU

AMAZON DE

B&N/NOOK KOBO

GOOGLE PLAY ITUNES